Linger Longer

We got a new hot water heater, 80 gallons. Steven and Kerry hauled it downstairs, and then the next night we had the missionaries for dinner and they made the mistake of asking if there was anything they could do to help our family...so they got to help haul the old heater up the stairs and out into the truck!

But now, we can linger longer in the shower with plenty of hot water for all. It's a good thing.

To Whom

Whom Shall I Serve

Whom shall I serve,
what inner strength have I to give?
To others is the way I live
An evidence that I care?

A pillar of light
Young Joseph in a grove of trees
Found out when he was on his knees
His Father in Heaven cares

And with God
Nothing is impossible
But you must reach and take his hand
With God
Nothing is impossible
Those who have ears to hear
Will understand

The blind could see
The lame man could walk away
And life will change from night to day
When they know that someone cares
When they know someone cares
When they know someone cares

Twenty Six Point Two

It's time to go to bed, the night before the marathon. I am filled with self-doubt and fear and the familiar "what have I done" feeling. It only gets worse on the bus ride 26 miles out of town. It's been a while since I've done this (3 years) so me and my knees are that much older and wiser too.

I just wanted to type in here what the teachers sang to me on Wednesday at the surprise assembly. It was so sweet, unexpected, surprising, and very humbling to have my whole school - staff and students - honor me in this way. So I really, REALLY, have to finish, get my medal, and make them proud. I will think of this song as I run. Kay Sorensen was the composer...you know what tune it's sung to.

while they sang, 26 different children came up and gave me a shoe shaped charm, with one little runner girl for the .2 at the end. I'm wearing that runner girl on my race number - 8012 - tomorrow!

Twenty-six miles to go
Just twenty six miles to go
I'm starting fresh,
I'll do my best
Just twenty-six miles to go.

Twenty-five miles to go
Just twenty-five miles to go
This is a breeze, I'll finish with ease
Just twenty-five miles to go!

Twenty miles to go
Just twenty miles to go
Look around
I'm covering ground
Just twenty miles to go!

Fifteen miles to go
Just fifteen miles to go
My knees are sore
but I can do more
Just fifteen miles to go!

Ten tough miles to go
Just ten tough miles to go
I'm more than half way
and starting to pray
Just ten tough miles to go!

Five aching miles to go
Just five aching miles to go
The sweat pours down
Will I drown?
Just five aching miles to go

Four hurtful miles to go
Just four hurtful miles to go
I'm breathing hard
my brain is jarred
Just four hurtful miles to go.

Three painful miles to go
Just three painful miles to go
I need a drink
I think I stink
Just three painful miles to go

Two endless miles to go
Just two endless miles to go
Why did I commit
to take this trip?
Just two endless miles to go!

One killer mile to go
Just one killer mile to go
The finish line
is almost mine
Just one killer mile to go!

Look at me, look what I did
Look at me, look what I did!
I ran the race
but not in last place
Hey, when can I do this again?

A Perfect Brightness

My blog began, at the suggestion of my sister Kerri, as a way to record my feelings about Thomas having been recently diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. It turned out that many of my feelings on that matter were too tender, spiritual, and deeply personal to blog about. But my blog is named "a perfect brightness of hope" because of this talk by Elder Uchtdorf.

New Year's Eve 2008 was quite a dark day for me, I think I spent the whole day googling "Hodgkin's Lymphoma" and "chemotherapy", and while the prognosis seemed good, there were a lot of frighteningly stark statistics available at the websites I visited. As the clock struck midnight, I just stood there and cried on Kerry's shoulders, unwilling and unable to welcome in the new year which would bring ocologists and chemo into our vocabulary.

I didn't want any of my kids, especially not Thomas and Caley, to see my fears and sorrow, and think that maybe I didn't have faith, because I did. Early on the morning of New Year's Day, I found the conference talk by Elder Uchtdorf entitled "The Infinite Power of Hope." I decided that would be my personal mission statement of the year. I printed it off, and have read it many times this past year. Out of the darkness of New Year's Eve came the brightness of New Year's Day. Out of the darkness of winter came the hopeful spring, and then the warm summer. As a family, we celebrated the end of cancer treatments for our brother and son by jumping in Coeur d'Alene lake on a perfectly bright July day.

Elder Uchtdorf was sustained as an apostle at October Conference, as we watched from out hotel room in St. George, following the marathon in 2004. Five years later, we are going back to the marathon, and I expect that St. George is going to be perfectly bright, once again.

Do The Right Thing

Not long ago we learned that local soldier Randy Neff had been killed in Afghanistan. He was a classmate of Marisa’s, from elementary through High School, graduating in 2006. Flags continue to be flown at half staff in the city, as they have ever since word was received, and on Monday they were lowered all across the state of Idaho.
Marisa’s 5th grade year was probably the worst public school class of any of my children ever, and with 6 kids that’s a lot of classes. I had never requested a teacher before, I never saw the need, and this was my 4th child in 5th grade, so there had already been over 40 opportunities to do so. I found out that year why parents request, and it often has nothing to do with the teacher. It has to do with the other students in the class. Pretty much all of the other happy, well-adjusted children’s parents had requested the other 5th grade teacher that year, and unfortunately the principal let this happen, and the two classes were very unbalanced. Marisa’s class had only 4 girls and about 20 rowdy boys. Everywhere she went that year whether it was P.E., Music, or the Library, her class was told they were the worst class that specialist teacher had ever seen. Often they didn’t even get to participate in the activity, spending the whole 30 minutes being lectured by a teacher at their wit’s end. Sometimes the teacher would say “this is the worst class I’ve ever seen – except you Marisa” which was nice but still didn’t give her a chance for happy class participation in a game of volleyball. She was in GT, so once a week she got to leave her classroom and learn some things. I imagine her classroom teacher was frustrated and overwhelmed with this class. Perhaps that’s why when Randy Neff was being bullied, she believed the bullies when they said, for example, he was breaking his own pencils and blaming it on them. I didn’t know this until this past week, but the time finally came in that class when Randy’s mother came to school and confronted the class and the teacher. The teacher asked the class if what Randy had been telling her was true, that he was being bullied by these boys. Nobody would say anything, they were probably either afraid or they were doing the bullying. But Marisa spoke up, and she told the truth, and was the only one who was brave enough to stand up for the bullied boy. I’m proud of her little 10 year old self for doing that all those years ago.
Seven years later, when she was a senior in High School, she got called out of class one day. It was Randy Neff, and he wanted to thank her for being the only one to stand up for him and tell the truth back in 5th grade. I’m proud of him for doing that too.
You never know when something you do is going to have an effect on someone, enough that they will remember it for years, and enough that they feel the need to tell you “thank you” seven years later.
I looked in Marisa’s yearbook to find a photo of the boy who was killed by a roadside bomb half a world away. Under his photo is his senior quote which reads “People can hurt you only if you let them”.

Where I Run

When I'm running, I don't have a camera. So tonight Kerry & Emily went on a bike ride with me & the camera around the greenbelt so I could show you where I spend a lot of time lately. By mid-August, I will have run to Butte, so to speak.

Mama Mia, it's about time!

I ran with an mp3 player for the first time ever today. Revolutionary!


In the past, I've had this Sony armband radio, with 10 preset stations, so I could switch from station to station til I found a good song to run to. But you know, sometimes there's just not a good song being broadcast anywhere in range, and it can be a little unwieldy to run with an entire radio on your arm. I haven't used it at all this summer, and I have missed running with music.

Today at the end of my 5.31 miles, I felt like the time had flown by and for the first time this summer I felt like I could have actually run a little further than I had planned on going. And it was even a Monday! Emily had helped me upload what little music we could quickly find on this computer: Taylor Swift, ABBA, and couple of random Tim McGraw songs. (This does not count the 850,000 songs that Steven has on here that I have never heard of/could never run to.) By the next time I run, I will have found the rest of the music I know I have around here - all of my favorite running songs that will help get me down the road, and around the greenbelt, as the mileage picks up on the way to St. George.

Running to the radio, you only ever hear current pop and country hits, so this was the first time I think I ever ran to ABBA. It was good fun, but the best beats-per-minute song turned out to be that Tim McGraw song with the BBQ stain on his white T-shirt. That song got me through the last quarter mile, and also made me think that this coming labor day weekend will be the one when Steven is 17.

The first marathon I trained for in 2001, the song that was played most often was Drops of Jupiter, so that always reminds me of running. I'll be needing that one, as well as the most played song of marathon training 2002, Kelly Clarkson - Miss Independent. Then there was the summer of Sheryl Crow. My playlist will have to include Legs by ZZ Top, Runnin' on Empty by Jackson Browne, and Foo Fighters, Learn to Fly (the song that was playing as I ran the morning Adam flew home from his mission.) More will occur to me. Songs that are slower I still like, if doubletime turns out to be a good running pace. Feel free to suggest songs to me that suggest running to you!

I'm really excited as I train to feel myself getting faster and stronger each day, even if by most standards I am neither fast nor strong. The other day the manager of the Eastern Idaho State Fair was walking around the lake, and I as ran past she said "Good for you!" to me. Yeah, Doris, good for me!